Must have just fallen asleep - when I was brought back to the present - to the sound of another episode of Little House on the Prairie playing on the screen in the background.
It was my phone lying on the coffee table next to my coffee cup and ringing softly - while the vibrator tried to set the coffee cup into high vibrations.
My quick reaction was that it was Bodil who called - which the display on the phone also showed.
The display clock showed 22.45. A short metallic laugh and her voice flow into my ear, and I quickly sense her energies.
She is unfortunate - through a weak sob, she tells me that her world has once again turned upside down
“Would you like to come by and have a glass of red wine and have a chat?
I just really need you to talk to me and heal me so I can calm down and sleep tonight!”
“Yes, of course,”
I answer - it’s always lovely to visit you.
We are both night owls and love to talk about everything, right into the wee hours of the morning over a few drinks.
I park the car outside her cozy farmhouse - out there in the dark.
Once again, I had to catch myself feeling small and nothing.
When the ceiling light in the car goes out, and the dark and beautiful sky descends over my head. And lays to rest around my shoulders.
Have a little difficulty finding the front door in the total darkness out here in the country and get a knock.
The door is opened, and the light pours out warm and friendly:
We greet and crush.
Can feel her body shaking, and breathing is difficult.
We curl up on the sofa in the living room, close to the warm embrace of the wood stove.
The television shows a space travel film, but we are entirely focused on each other and the excellent Italian wine in the glasses.
Slowly, the story and why everything is so rehearsed and uphill comes under control.
She has caught the ex-husband lying - yes, she has even driven past where he lives and checked if he lied!
He had told her he was at home watching TV, but he didn’t.
The house was dark, and the car was gone.
She had driven past one of his neighbors, whom she showed him dating a bit, to check if he was there.
He was, and so was the car!
I didn’t see how it could turn her world upside down; they had been divorced for over 7 years.
So it was only natural that he has a love life that he cherishes!
“Well, it’s that he’s lying and not telling me the truth. We always told each other everything!”
I couldn’t see the problem, or maybe I sensed what this was about.
I continued
“Was this about control? – jealousy – or wanting him back?”
“No, I’m not going to control his life. He’s just not going to lie!”
“But do you have a right to know what he does with other ladies?” I continued
“Should he be accountable to you? Do you want him back?”
I finished the sentence.
“We had a really good time when we were a family,”
she replied thoughtfully.
I continued.
“But you’ve told me that he couldn’t give you tenderness, that you hadn’t kissed in years. That your 3-minute sex life was very colorless! It hadn’t worked out between you for 4 – 5 years before you broke up! In other words, “happiness” that lies more than 11 years back in time!”
She will be absent immediately.
She can hear how it sounds.
I continued.
“So this is what you want back – I’m just asking!”
“No, but this is where I felt happy We were a family.”
We lingered in silence following this answer.
“But let me ask you something - do you think he can ever fulfill the dreams and expectations that you have had in the last - let’s say, 5/6 years?”
I continued
“No, I don’t think he will be able to,”
Came the quick reply from her.
She pauses and gets up to put a few pieces of firewood on the stove.
Flames lick up the sticks and bite into the firewood.
The radiant heat feels wonderfully relaxing and very soothing.
She adjusts the air screw, and the flames change from blue to orange glows.
She lands again on the sofa and slides under the blanket. Close beside me.
We sip our glasses and try to digest things.
She has calmed down more.
I can hear her calm breathing.
I continue the conversation. “Why are you spending so much energy on this scenario that you basically know is never going to happen?
You will be stuck in the past when you constantly spend energy on pursuing the desires of the present, which you later acquired after the divorce.
Back to the point in your life where things went wrong! Maybe you hope to save the relationship? - create a wonderful feeling of happiness or simply keep the dream?
A dream that never will come true.
You will live your life in hindsight! You mix what you want in the future with what you have experienced in the past.
The rearview mirror should only be used to make sure that you use the experience from the past to steer clear of future obstacles.
So don’t sit and dwell in the rearview mirror/your past. You’ve been there and you’re not going there.
That is why the rearview mirror is so small and almost insignificant.
Because what should fill your entire field of vision is the windscreen - the future and all the beautiful things you will experience there!
If you use your thoughts, wishes, and dreams to shape your future.
You will get much closer to what you dream of - than if you stare in the rearview mirror and dream back to that time, things, and people in order to move on - let go of the life you don’t want to live.”
She becomes quiet and thinks a lot – she is a brilliant and spiritual woman – yes, she thinks at high pressure.
She turns her head and looks at me.
I can see in her eyes that she can’t quite find the answer - what drives her.
But that she can see the picture.
She needs to change her behavior in order not to get stuck.
If you repeat the same and the same scenario - over and over, then you get the same and the same experience.
Just a little different from the last one.
Because you have added the experiences from the previous time, in the new one.
She snuggles down in the corner of the sofa and pulls the blanket up over her.
I put my hand on her head and start the healing energies, adding a calming blue color, and little by little, her breathing becomes calm and peaceful.
I let my hand rest and return to daily thoughts I pour the last wine into the glass and turn my attention to the television.
The pilots in the spaceship are greeted by fantastic experiences in the Universe, and I feel small again.
But in agreement with the energies from the Universe. Energies I can just draw on and use right when they are needed.
I feel loved ♥
I can hear her breathing that she has fallen asleep.
The mission has been successful, and she has been able to talk about and process her experience.
I crawl more profoundly under the blanket and return to my thoughts.
While her breathing and the sound of the television mix.
My thinking returns to my feeling of gratitude.
I know the Universe is watching over me and sending me the help I need.
Help comes when I need it and in the order I need it.
What I call (the Universe) it or what you call it – doesn’t matter.
It is the connection that matters.
Angels or whatever you choose to call them.
For me, Christ is the point of entry - not as a religion - with beautiful and loving life-giving energy.
Why do many people spend a lot of energy on something that happened in the past?
Some even all their energy on something that is no more! Focusing on the past - without thinking they will never get there again.
For many, it might be this - that up until this point, they were in control of their lives? Had a lovely feeling of happiness.
Spent their lives with someone they were connected to – had a marriage – children or in this way connected.
If you lose any of this - you can quickly lose some or all of your identity.
The rearview mirror is for orienting yourself about, Where you have been.
That's why it's so tiny.
Where you want to go, you see through the windshield.
That's why it's so big
