Lotte enters my consultation supported by a crutch and sits down awkwardly next to my desk.
Gets the bag off and puts the outerwear down on the chair next to it.
There is no doubt that she was in pain and troubled by the situation.
She has a deep, worried frown across her forehead. Her face is lovely with a beautiful appearance.
I'm guessing she's in her mid-fifties.
To start the conversation, I ask - how can I help you? - that gets her started up with a long and detailed story - full of detail and emotional impressions - from the traffic accident she had been in.
The story is very vivid, and it is as if it were yesterday that she had been exposed to the incident, but it was probably a little longer ago.
She had been in a right-turn accident - was run over on her bike by a bus - and had severely injured her right leg.
Lots of treatment in the hospital and a long recovery time in a wheelchair.
When the story is over - the clenched expression on her face eases - she begins to relax her body.
My natural question was - "how long ago it happened".
"Three years," she answered slowly.
It surprised me a lot - in the story, it was as if it had happened recently.
But my immediate feeling is that she is stuck in the past.
Stuck in the experience, has given herself a problematic role.
But a position with a lot of sympathy and attention - she was outstanding in the part.
The victim role. It can be so easy to put on.
- Those closest to you almost expect it - when you've gone astray.
- They use the opportunity to identify with you and your misfortune.
- It gives a lot of care - compassion - attention.
The environment almost expects - that you fulfill the role and stick to it.
The role gets fuel from all the experienced emotions that have gone into hiding in the head.
- "I lost control and felt very vulnerable."
- "I thought I should die."
- "Never see my husband and my children again."
- "Will I ever be able to move normally again." •
- "Will I ever get my old life back."
- "I will probably be disabled - for the rest of my life... etc."
- "If only he or she had done this or that, it would never have happened."
- "It was the bus driver who was to blame - etc..."
Every time the story is told - the entire film runs on the big screen - all emotions are experienced.
Victim talks a lot about the changes, both in their own lives and in the lives of others, that they have experienced. could well imagine.
A victim talks a lot about good intentions and goals, but nothing rarely happens.
That's the talk. It is others who have to deal with what needs to be changed! What has gone wrong? The victim blames everyone but himself. 'It's not my fault' is the motto, and the victim disclaims all responsibility in the situation.
- "In this situation, I have no choice.
- " But there is always a choice - if you choose it.
The role quickly gives way to being locked into different contexts.
We took up the treatment quietly and moved into the story - we traveled together several times together - into the bound energies step by step - to make them release and disappear.
We start her treatment, a mixture of healing and conversation therapy.
On the way through her life story, we also get to know some of her roles and those she plays in different contexts.
She went through a number of them - discarded some and adjusted others.
Her relationship with the closest people in her life. All treatments ended with a healing session - to release old patterns and to fill the body with bright and loving energies.
At the end of the course, she got to see the violent energies in connection with the trauma she had experienced - and set the energies free in these experiences.
It helped her to be able to see herself on the stage of life - see the role she played - relate to it.
Make a conscious choice and replace it with someone - who would recapture her lost life - again put her on the map in the life she dreamed of.
- "I will probably be disabled - for the rest of my life... etc."
- "If only he or she had done this or that, it would never have happened."
- "It was the bus driver who was to blame - etc..." •
Every time the story is told - the entire film runs on the big screen - all emotions are experienced.
Victim talks a lot about the changes, both in their own lives and in the lives of others, that they have experienced.
Could well imagine.
A victim talks a lot about good intentions and goals, but nothing rarely happens.
That's the talk. It is others who have to deal with what needs to be changed! What has gone wrong? The victim blames everyone but himself.
- 'It's not my fault' is the motto, and the victim disclaims all responsibility in the situation.
- "In this situation, I have no choice.
- But there is always a choice - if you choose it.
The role quickly gives way to being locked into different contexts.
We took up the treatment quietly and moved into the story - we traveled together several times together - into the bound energies step by step - to make them release and disappear.
We start her treatment, a mixture of healing and conversation therapy.
On the way through her life story, we also get to know some of her roles.
And those she plays in different contexts.
She went through a number of them - discarded some and adjusted others.
Her relationship with the closest people in her life. All treatments ended with a healing session - to release old patterns and to fill the body with bright and loving energies.
At the end of the course, she got to see the violent energies in connection with the trauma she had experienced - and set the energies free in these experiences.
It helped her to be able to see herself on the stage of life - see the role she played - relate to it.
Make a conscious choice and replace it with someone - who would recapture her lost life - again put her on the map in the life she dreamed of.
She found her inner warrior and got it activated. Because the warrior has just the right qualities:
- The energy to process her experience - start the healing.
- Set goals and live the dreams - stick to the decisions.
- Make a plan for recovery and the return to an everyday life.
- Find a solution to the challenges that lie ahead.
He asks himself:
- What can I do differently?
- What will I do differently next time?
- What should I learn from this?
- What can I do to improve the situation?
The warrior takes full responsibility for himself, his development, and his learning in all situations.
The road back to normal was not just a snap of the fingers - it was a long road - but a beautiful street - where, with the help of self-insight - one look at one's roles - self-esteem... etc.
The story had a beautiful and lovely end - she recovered completely. - went back to the labor market - got her dream job - gained control of her beautiful love life - let go of all the heavy and dark things she had been dragging around with.
So be aware of which role/s you play - are you stuck in one/several of them?
What will you do to stop having roles you don't like, and can you adjust to positions you can't get rid of.
But remember that all people contain both roles. Only you choose which role you give space, attention, and energy.
If you have started in the victim role, that's perfectly fine - but don't get stuck.
Then your development and your life stop!
So don't give up - what you feed grows - you attract, you get.
Most negativity occurs mainly in the brain - so let it go.
Train yourself to let go of the negative - consciously choose to be positive - from the morning.
Make peace with yourself and forgive yourself - then you will have a better foundation in your life. Step out into the light again.
That's where we belong, not in the dark, but in the light & love!
