THE WRITING PROCESS
Many of the things I learned along the way in life were
simply stored away in my memory, as excellent and
valuable notes as could easily be used on a later occasion.
Just not right now!
Why I had this attitude, I don't know today because var The journey would have looked very different if I had just started a little earlier. smiling When something is served to me as very simple, I get the impression that it is too "easy" or that it might not work.
Basically, I've learned that all challenges in life must be something you have to work hard for, come but too quickly for that. It's not worth the price. If it is to have meaning, you really have to fight for it that, like to see the blood spurt and the tears flow.
The more I fight for things, the better. It does matter just that I really want to achieve something.
"Nothing in life is easy, my boy," was the explanation.
So when I became acquainted with the teaching, it sounded it's all too simple - all too easy.
START WRITING DOWN EVERYTHING THAT'S GOING ON
YOUR HEAD! EVERYTHING!
When 30 years later, I was in the middle of a significant personal crisis remembering the message, I took it seriously. I started my journey by writing down everything was in my overloaded head.
I stopped sorting through what came and emptied my head entirely of what was of proven and unproven thoughts.
It was amazing what the process could set in motion and where my thoughts could take me.
Suddenly I experienced that there was more peace inside me, that there was more balance in my mind. In the course of the process, there was room in my mind to think more focused - clearly - and constructively.
The light suddenly shone in and illuminated every nook and cranny in me.
The interior windows opened, and the air became clean and clear again.
But the cleaning actually started in some of my drawers on the desk where I kept some mixed contents.
Suddenly, in the middle of the cleaning, I was convinced of the process I was in.
So I calmly sat down and started writing as soon as I finished the external cleaning of the desk.
Giving in to cleaning up around me means that I am ready to move on and that all levels outside and inside my life must be cleaned up.
That all things are browsed and sorted.
Sorted into what needs to be taken on the journey and what just needs to be left behind. In the writing process, I stopped listening to my ego, which wanted to sort out the thoughts while I wrote down.
"You mustn't mix things up, good experiences, stressful experiences, etc."
But I overheard the voice and didn't care that it had to be systematic.
I just had a strong desire to write - write - let go - let go - move on with myself and my life!
Many of the experiences that I had stored inside my body, in my backpack, came to light through the writing, and I got to see what had been hidden.
When I lifted the lid, things almost came up by themselves and without me being able to control them.
Many bad energies rose to the surface and were released through writing.
Redemption came through the words and the experience in my mind as the pen danced across the paper.
My body was impatient to tell me about the many experiences that took up a lot of energy and space.
Release it - release it all, it sounded inside me. Down at the bottom of my "backpack," I had simply stuffed energies and experiences out of the way. Deep down in the bottom of the "backpack," I was provided with an extra heavy lid. I had gotten into the habit that if the lid started to lift, I had to sit on top of it until I couldn't feel anything again.
At the beginning of the process, I was afraid that when I started to let go of myself and dive into it heavy mass that was in the packaging, yes, I would fall apart.
That I would lose control and maybe also lose my identity. Who knows - I had never heard of anyone breaking down in this process, but I went with a notion in my head that I would end up in a treatment ward if that happened.
(Where does that delusion come from?)
Who was I really? – what good things did I contain? – bad cases? - How much others had given me on the journey without me having dealt with what they gave me?
Perhaps it was just nonsense that they also carried along without having in any way considered the content of what they said!
A new time came when I dealt with everything inside me that I could bring up in consciousness.
I was hoping I could create more space for all the good things I wanted to pack into my onward journey!
Much later on this lovely journey, there began to be many patterns in what I wrote down.
Patterns that confirmed what I had experienced in my life, that many things that happened around my life went in circles.
I felt that on my life journey, I returned to a place where I had been before.
In some contexts, up to many times!
So I repeated the same pattern over and over.
Come back to the same point.
There was something I had to deal with – something I had to learn.
But I wanted to get on with my life and get closer to what I wanted in life.
Namely to fulfill my deepest desires.
So through what I had written, a pattern and a picture emerged of what I didn't want and, not least, what I wanted myself. I began to write in an extraordinary book, which was almost sacred.
The book that contained my wishes for the rest of my life. To choose who I want to be in the future, I have to deal with who I have been in the past.
Again plain and straightforward.
There are no shortcuts that easily and elegantly lead you away from dealing with yourself and further into your new life path. If you keep taking cargo on board a ship and never unloading along the way, the boat will sink when it can no longer hold the weight.
It was important during the process that I didn't get too crazy but focused on what I wanted to achieve and what I wanted with my life.
After all, my process was only about me - only me - and not the other participants on my journey.
Ex.: My inner victim role voice came out and tried to tell me: "Well, she dominated you in every possible way."
Then I had to say to myself the whole truth.
I had given her permission to do so. In other words, it was an (active) action I had taken.
So I also had to take responsibility for what I had participated in. "Well, you hadn't given her permission.
Then it's probably an assault." No, but I had always had the option to cancel/stop, but I chose not to.
After all, this action is also a choice!
I started to take responsibility because it takes 2 to tango!!
So all the time in the writing process, I have proven to choose to play on my own court and learn from what I have done - what I have experienced.
It wasn't easy at first, sometimes really hard, but over time I got better at it, and the writing started to flow by itself. Along the way, I practiced and trained my discernment.
After all, I have to take responsibility and recognize that I am the Captain in my own life.
When I recognize my role, I also have to realize that this role also entails a great deal of responsibility.
Responsibility for the Captain choosing the course, destinations, passengers, cargo, etc.
In this way, my life's journey becomes more proven and more in line with what I want. I wrote notes about what I wanted to get better at or to make proven choices about what I wanted and de-choice about what I didn't like in my life.
Only when my wishes are sent out into the universe does the entire universe work to make things happen. ♥
Along the way, it also turned into a book with suggestions for topics that had come up during the writing process. Thoughts that I let go again because I was in the middle of following a different train of thought.
What an exciting and rewarding process that I started - and that I keep going all the time.
Why do I do it? It has become one of my declarations of intent to clean up as much as possible, on my own or with the help/treatment of others.
After all, my body is my temple for my soul - here, there should be no mess - chaos - dust, or darkness.
It must be filled with balance - good energies - light, and love. Light from the universe must shine at full blast and illuminate my whole interior with peace and harmony.
Later in the process, I started on a system where I wrote what I wanted to drop into as usual.
What I wanted to remember about my dreams and wishes, I then wrote in by turning the book upside down.
I thought of another piece of advice I had received from Erik "The Indian Golden Eagle recommended that you collect these papers and then make a fire with them so that the bonds and energies disappear."
So the things I had written down that I didn't want to travel with anymore, I gathered - made a fire - and burned them.
To make it a little festive, I sat and played my drum and sang while I watched the spirit in the fire eat itself through all the sheets I had written.
What a magical experience to not have to carry around these experiences This way, the bonds and the destructive energies in writing disappeared.
I make sure to keep the writing going all the time - but occasionally, I, of course, take a "holiday," - but I knowing that this lovely process is part of my future life.
WHAT DO I WANT – WHAT DO I WANT TO GIVE?
Have a good journey - filled with bright and loving energies from the universe.
Hugs Finn ♥
